I am, like I am sure millions of people are, absolutely devastated by the sudden death of Michael Jackson. This morning I find myself blasting Jackson 5 and Michael Jackson songs over and over while doing a walking/grieving dance and sobbing. “I’ll Be There”. “ABC”. “Dancing Machine”. “Billie Jean” “Bad” “Human Nature”….. I must grind, shake, sway and sing to wring out the sorrow and the anger.
He is one of the persons I have feared for in the 49-52 year old Chiron Return age group under Chiron in Aquarius because I know when there is too much pain…..too much blocked and unexpressed emotion at this time of life, you are a very high risk of a (fatal) heart attack. The Chiron Return time is when you can either get to leave your legacy or you get taken out of this realm.
Ohhhhhh, I grew up listening to and watching him and his brothers. He is older than me and I dreamt as a little girl that he would somehow find me and dance/sing me away to someplace wonderful…. I remember when the “Off the Wall” album debuted on TV, nearly 3 dozen of us jammed into one living room to watch the screen. We knew we were seeing groundbreaking history!! And when he moonwalked on the Motown special….”Billie Jean” and “Thriller”……This was a mindblowing, extraorindarily talented genius.
This man MADE the musci channel MTV.
This man was an incredible humanitarian.
And how my heart broke over the year as I watch him get embroiled in those tragic child molestation situations, various lawsuits and financial troubles and surrounded by people who did not help save him from himself. Where were his famous friends? Why didn’t any of them forcibly get him private psychological help? Celebrities have ben foribly put into treatment for things? Oh my god how crushing this was because I could see it standing in the way of all the good with which he was gifting the WORLD with his music, his entertainment skills, his business acumen and his philanthropy.
I was also troubled by people’s fascination, as gets done to Virgos often,with his virginal lifestyle and apparent awkward and very private sexuality and intimate life. It was no one’s business who he was having sex with and how, outside of a community need to address anything involving children, of course.
It was not hard to see he was in turmoil, with what was happening with his body…from the surgeries and changes of skin pigmentation to the accidents that broke bones and set his hair on fire…and the dramatic weight loss.
I recognized, as another Virgo what it is like to be gifted and have people be jealous and do anything they could to try to make you out to be an imperfect, deeply flawed and worthless individual when humanitarian and compassionate goals at at the core of you. I have had other intuitives, and telephone (and only telephone, never in-person) callers be absolutely disgustingly vicious to me because they could not bear it that I am both a beautiful and talented woman who get many blessings in life as I journey. These people felt they had to lie and make up reasons to attack me or to try to minimize my success. I learned to keep to myself, focus on the best me, refine my talents and be very selective about who I let into my personal life. I learned to ignore nasty false criticism in the form of Internet feedback when I realized it was not actually “real”. I primarily do success coaching and private astrology consultations now because I am D*** good at it (I am sure that is upsetting some folks that I can be honest and say that aloud) and I can be very selective about working with people. I can choose to spend my time with people who are honestly looking live their best life. I also keep a small inner circle of real friends and guard my private time so I can rest and have leisure.
I recognized long ago Michael Jackson was showing all the characteristics we Virgos show when we can no longer take the horrific pain of other people’s machinations, criticisms, gossip, and cruelty: The Virgo becomes very withdrawn and eccentric, separates from anyone who could cause pain, has very little trust in people except for perhaps innocent children, and pours their emotions into some artistic talent such as music, writing or painting.
Astrologically, there are lessons to learn here from natal and transiting Chiron, and transiting Neptune and a few other things in his cart. But I will come back to it when I can compose myself….
For now…..you can search my blog for the Chiron in Aquarius two-part series to give you some clue……about a natal wound in being different
from others/unique/unusual. Other clues I can give you right now are about Neptune, Neptune in Aquarius, Aquarius in general, Saturn
in Virgo and Virgo in general.
It collectively and individually angers me that Michael Jackson was beaten up in this lifetime for not fitting into this world so he did the best to create a world he could live in…but in the end, it appears the distress of it all wore out his body, stopped his heart and killed him on the eve of his legacy-leaving tour. I should note however, the already has left us a great legacy….
But, we – WE in the human community — helped develop the weaker aspects of Michael Jackson with our insistence that the unusual different and exceptionally talented are unacceptably weird and open for derision and criticism. Clearly he had childhood wounds and some of us did all we could to make him feel more pain with our criticism and gossip. While Michael Jackson had to take responsibility for his actions (and I am angry that he did not just steer clear of children) — we are all connected and that pain and sorrow blocked up in his heart did not happen in isolation!!
In a very real sense I am glad he is dead and no more will be here to live such a pain-filled life anymore. I am deeply sad that his genius will not gift this world in new ways. But, yes truly, and not as a trite saying, rest in peace Michael Jackson.
So there…….I must go finish my grieving dance and come to terms so I can look at this astrologically for you.